huffingtonpost - 1 days ago

When you’re trying to get kids out of the door early in the morning, or to put a toy back on the shelf in the supermarket, you might find yourself resorting to all kinds of wacky strategies to move them along a bit. For some, especially those whose parents used it on them, this might mean using the ‘counting to 3’ method – which is pretty much what it says on the tin. You start counting to three in the hope that before, or at least by the time, you’ve reached the last number, your kids will have done what you asked of them. And if they don’t, well, there are usually consequences of some sort.Like most parents who find themselves resorting to this tactic, you probably reach two and three-quarters, thinking: this isn’t working. Surely there has to be a better way!?And according to dad-of-four and parenting coach Mike Wallach, there is. Why ‘counting to three’ doesn’t necessarily workPer Positive Parenting Solutions, there are a few reasons why counting to three isn’t really going to help us, or our kids, in the long run. The site suggested that by using this strategy, we’re allowing our kids to ignore us, because it “teaches kids they don’t have to listen the first time”. It can also breed entitlement (especially if we don’t follow through on a consequence), sets the stage for a power struggle, and leaves our kids thinking we are open to negotiating.What to try instead“First off, would you want someone to countdown for you to complete something?” asked Wallach in a TikTok video. A fair point (although I’d argue most of us are clutching at straws after exhausting all other routes to get kids to comply at this point).Instead, he recommends phrasing it a bit differently: “I’m going to think of three places we’ve been in this last year and by the time I’m at the third one, we should be all done with this activity.”He then gives the example of saying something like: “Let’s see, we went to that cool pool with the slides... Where else did we go?” At which point, kids will usually chime in. In the caption, he said parents could also think of other things, like five foods your child likes/dislikes, three restaurants, or three times they were sad. The behaviour analyst said it turns it into a positive experience: “They’re going to join you and your thinking and they’re going to transition to that next activity.” (Well, we hope!)It’s not about “tricking” kids, he noted, but rather about “building momentum and getting the behaviours you want to see”.Good luck! Related...I m An Online Harms Expert, Here s Why I m Terrified Of Digital ID For KidsKids Keep Saying Six-Seven And Nobody Seems To Know What It MeansIf Your Child Melts Down Over Mistakes, Experts Say This Can Help

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